me: my arm hurts
mom: it's the computer
me: my eyes hurt
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a nosebleed
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a fever
mom: are you sure it's not the heat from the computer
me: im pregnant
mom: its the computer
me: i feel down the stairs & hurt my tailbone
mom: the computer pushed you didnt it

aweepingangel:

i was never jealous of barbie’s body

i was jealous of all the shit she had and that fucking mansion and her pimp ass car and her hot boyfriend

jaclcfrost:

"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression

ammit420:

*lawyer voice* eat a dick, your honor

(Source: ammits420friendlychillspot)

yourbones:

somegirlnamedkaitlyn:

My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent?

Nailed it.

lampsandtoasters:

kapooyah:

bellabracha:

what even IS american culture

it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value 

i don’t get it

image

this might just be the most accurate discription of america ever

(Source: cockedtail)

nerdinessinabluebox:

thorthousand1:

Just called an anorexia help line and the girl answered and immediately hearing I was male said “you’re real funny douche” and hung up. If you dot think that’s messed up, u messed up.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME

cheekily:

christmastree-cake:

seashellies:

purrityring:

momofficial:

SNAILS EAT WORMS

why yes they do

image
and it’s fucking terrifying

I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that.

I had a snail phase at one point

Ñ̷̡̰͖͖́́́O̸͓̻̝̙͋́̀͂O̶̠̫͍̩̓͊̔̋T̶̳̱͖̞̾̈̀̋ ̵̛̗̗͍̩̀̈́̔N̴̢̙̟͚̍͋͋̕O̸̡̳̤͖͒͒̀͂O̴̙͙̤͓̒̐̌̊T̷̹̙͎͖̆͗͗̿